Silly Story: Not The Smartest Cow

My mother isn’t the smartest cow. I knew this from the day I was born.

Just a few minutes after I emerged, she shuddered a few times and took a step or two toward the feed trough before pausing.

She looked over her shoulder.

“Who the hell are you?” she asked. That was my first indication.

Realizing she was forgetting her manners and not using the most eloquent language, she blushed as much as any cow can.

“I don’t remember seeing you before,” she continued. “My name’s Elsie. What’s yours?”

Knowing instinctively that cattle name themselves in the first few moments of life, I rather quickly responded, “Hello Elsie, I’m Stuart.”

It was a few days later when I had my second indication that her intelligence was lacking. I realized it when I heard the landowner talking to a farmhand about her.

Her name isn’t Elsie.

Photo: Pixabay